Ferociously Observant

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. -Anon.

I hang my head… 10 June 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ferociouskater @ 2:46 am

…ashamed that I have not posted in some time. Last weekend I was out of town for a glorious wedding and traveled back in time to college days. The bar was an open one, the pictures were just about taking themselves, and, like every time I get together with my old friends from school, I became depressed (despite the open bar) that I wasn’t working on some form of degree too.

I get this way every once in a while, mostly when I travel back to Ohio to either visit my parents or see old friends (on this trip I did both). I get moody and brooding and decide that hook or by crook I’m going to get back to school even if I have to drive an hour and a half each way to get there. Of course when one thinks carefully about this scenario, one sees a tiny VW bug stranded on the side of a Michigan highway in the middle of a snowstorm at midnight. I never like this image, but it gets easier to bear if I’ve just had a lengthy discussion with one of my old friends discussing to which PhD program she should apply.

School, school. What is so alluring about school all of a sudden? Is it because I’m surrounded by studying (Tom is taking his Step 2 this week in Atlanta) or is it because at work I’m surrounded by those who haven’t had a lot of secondary education? Most likely it’s a combination of that, a job at which I only use 2% of my brain on a daily basis, and parents who are always hinting at when I might be heading back (I think some of that must have to do with the high price they paid for my dusty Bachelor of Arts).

I feel like I go over the same things in my head every time, that we might be moving again in less than a year’s time so I shouldn’t enroll somewhere and then have to transfer, that I haven’t taken my LSAT yet so I can’t start applying, that I don’t want to be stranded on the side of the road in a snowstorm, etc. etc. And every time I come to the same conclusions: I have two choices. I can either bear the bumming every time I come home from Ohio, or I can do something about it. Since I never really can think of anything TO do about it right now that doesn’t involve quitting my job, I deal with the bumming. Or, should I say, Tom gets to deal with the bumming.

Poor Tom.


One Response to “I hang my head…”

  1. Brian Says:

    Excuses, excuses…

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