My mantra lately has been, “Keep busy and be patient.” The keep busy part I can do – I am currently doing a lot of babysitting, a lot of reading, writing, and making cards. I will start school in a little over two months and that will certainly keep me busy. I am thinking of signing up for some yoga classes.
It’s the patient part I sometimes have problems with (this is partially where the yoga classes come in). Tom and I were sure we’d found our house – we put in an offer, they accepted, and we had scheduled closing for the week after we got back from graduation. We had even gone to the Home Depot to browse for paint and carpet. But then we had the house inspected and found a huge bow in one wall of the foundation. So we are back at square one.
The house was growing on me, but I am not only mourning the loss of that deck or the poetic-looking tree in the backyard. I am mourning the loss of a large “what if” being resolved. My impatience was sated for a while, but now it is back again. We don’t know where we’ll be, once again, and it’s getting to me. I can’t even get myself to start packing.
I asked my therapist this morning and she suggested the yoga. Find a center, she said, and the rest will come. Find a center and you will be able to take those things that make you impatient and anxious and work though them. Change your mind. And focus on your work will follow. So I’m going to give it a try, because it can only help. I’m going to give it a try every morning before writing, before looking through the house listings, before holding a screaming baby. And see how far it will get me.
I am bad at patience, I know it, and maybe simply trying to find ways to resolve that will keep me busier still. At least I can hope so. Because as fast-paced as our current world moves, we sure have to do a lot of waiting.